March 2008 Archives

Jose Canseco Reviewed: With Spoilers

There I was, wandering through a quaint Cambridge bookstore on Monday, when I noticed a copy of Jose Canseco's new book "Vindicated: Big Names, Big Liars, and The Battle to Save Baseball" in their tiny sports section. That's odd, I thought. I didn't know the book had come out yet. It turns out that it hasn't. The book's not due to be released until April 1st, but, for some reason, there was a copy for sale. And so I bought it.

The Spitzer Scandal Reviewed

3 1/2 cigars out of 4

Eliot Spitzer's salacious new scandal "Ho No!" is a tantalizing tour de force of intrigue, deception, sexuality, and general idiocy that will delight audiences of all ages, especially investment bankers under indictment and members of the media. It is not often that a juicy new scandal emerges out of nowhere, but such is the case with this offering from New York's Luv Guv. Before this prostitution scandal opened, few outside New York probably even knew who Eliot Spitzer was, but the formerly dull New York Governor is now an instant star -- such is the power of this hot new scandal.

Attack of the TV Clones

Conventional wisdom suggests that human cloning is just years away, but I maintain that human cloning already exists, except that it's reserved only for branded television personalities. What other explanation could there be for all that's on your television? It seems that 75% of what's on is hosted by the same ten people. Here are a few who have already been cloned.

Phoning it in for the Candidates

Lately, I've been checking out the web sites of Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. This is mainly because I somehow ended up on both their mailing lists, and I get umpteen e-mails every day from each campaign (margin of error: +/- one ump). Lately, Clinton has been asking me to contribute as little as five dollars, while Obama has been asking me to help him reach his goal of making one and a half million phone calls by today.


    A periodic humor column, disguised as a blog. New columns published on Tuesdays or not as the case may be.


  • I've written for Slate, The Boston Globe Magazine, Salon, McSweeney's, WBUR Radio, The Christian Science Monitor, The Globe and Mail, and many other publications. Thanks for dropping by. I hope you enjoy my Internet column.

  • ©1995-2009 Joe Lavin