Here's to Moving Day

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Here's to all the leases that start on September 1st, thus plunging Boston into a giant game of musical chairs every year.

Here's to all the mattresses I've left behind, due to a lack of planning, space, and/or common sense. I hope you've all found a good home.
Here's to moving vans and that day every year when people who normally drive small cars are suddenly given the keys to giant vehicular behemoths. You know, on second thought, you can cut me off. I'll just hang back here a few car lengths.

Here's to security deposits loved and lost.

Here's to my friend's couch, which, if I remember correctly, could only fit into his second floor townhouse if he removed the windowpane in the living room and lifted the couch through that window using an elaborate makeshift pulley system. I'm sorry I was busy that day.

Here's to Dad. Better keep that pickup truck around just in case. You never know when I might need it.

Here's to Mom. Really, that place I lived in when I was 23 wasn't all that bad, so long as you didn't use the kitchen.

Here's to those awkward meetings between potential roommates that happened all over the city this past month. As I recall, these feel sort of like being on a blind date, but without the potential of finding true love. The other day, in a coffee shop, one of these conversations was taking place at a table next to me, and I couldn't help but eavesdrop. "Wow, you're laid back too. That's great."

Here's to new homes found on the very last day, preventing you from having to move back in with your parents.

Here's to Derek Lowe and the only no-hitter thrown at Fenway Park in the last forty years, which I missed because I was moving that day. Come to think of it, during the five minutes I had the radio on, Joe Castiglione did seem awfully excited about something.

Here's to college students. It may not seem that we really like you, but you do wondrous things for the economy, and for that we're grateful. Sometimes.

Here's to storage pods. You really haven't had the proper perspective on your life until you've seen all your possessions piled high in an 8" by 8" by 8" cell.

Here's to humidity. In my experience, it can't be moving day without humidity. Or, in some cases, rain. Luckily, the weather this year is supposed to be pleasant. This meteorological oddity can only be explained by the fact that I'm not moving this year.

Here's to third-story walk-ups. Sorry about my language that time.

Here's to stuff, and my ridiculous accumulation of it. A special shout-out also goes to all those city workers forced to deal with the stuff that didn't quite make the cut.

Here's to the couch scavengers, happily combing our city streets the night after moving day. I'm told there's nothing quite like the thrill of finding a free couch. Enjoy. And don't let the bedbugs bite.

Here's to pizza and beer, the universal currency of Moving Day.

And, finally, here's to the fact that on this Moving Day I won't be moving a single muscle. Good luck to those who are.
  • http://JoeLavin.com

    A periodic humor column, disguised as a blog. New columns published on Tuesdays or not as the case may be.

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