October 2008 Archives

General (Election) Lessons

A few lessons I've learned from the campaign, while trying to figure out if the poll released five minutes ago is more of a "game changer" than the poll released ten minutes ago...

Always make sure to cash in before the election is over.

I know it's a big controversy, but I don't have a problem with Sarah Palin spending $150,000 on clothes. I figure it's just campaign money. Either they use it to cut another commercial on how horrible Obama is, or they can dress the Governor in some fancy clothes. That may be the closest we'll get to positive campaigning.

Superstitious Post-Mortem

The Boston Red Sox were eliminated from the playoffs by Tampa Bay on Sunday, and I think it might be partly my fault. That's because this year I decided to try something new while watching the Red Sox. I decided not to be superstitious.

I realize now that this may have been a big mistake. After all, I was a superstitious mess in both 2004 and 2007, and it clearly worked. In the past, I have assigned magical powers to a variety of items, including unsalted potato chips, the green Red Sox cap of a friend in England, Shaw's Boston Crème Pie, the corner booth of a pizzeria, and, of course, my friend Anna.

The Election So Far: An A to Z Guide

A is for Alaska, no longer a forgotten state.

B is for the Bridge to Nowhere, which used to go to the 21st Century until it was diverted.

C is for change. Of what exactly, we're not entirely sure, but we know we like it.

D is for diner, a popular establishment in which crying is encouraged. Also, try their Belgian Waffle special.

E is for earmark, what we'll all give to McCain if we have to hear about them one more time

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