January 2008 Archives

Performance Enhancement Hits Hollywood

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As you get ready to watch the new Rambo movie, know this: John Rambo is juiced. Recently, Sylvester Stallone admitted using Human Growth Hormone (HGH) to get into shape for the role, and defends it by saying, "HGH is nothing."

I, for one, am appalled. Who knew there was HGH inside the actor's studio? It's just not right for actors to be taking any performance-enhancing drugs. Next thing you know, Stallone will win an Oscar for "Rambo," and we'll all know that the performance wasn't legitimate. After a movie, whenever you say, "What a performance," you'll catch yourself wondering whether the actor might have been on something. Well, something performance-enhancing, that is. 

Dry Cleaners for Hillary

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On the day before the New Hampshire Primary, I saw what I thought would be a signature moment in the campaign of Hillary Clinton, but then I got home that night and all anyone on TV wanted to talk about was whether she had cried at some diner in Portsmouth. 

From The Christian Science Monitor: Anti-Social Networking

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Here from the relative safety of the printed word, I would like to announce that I am a failure at Facebook. I've had a Facebook account for three years now, and I have a grand total of four - count 'em - four friends. That's an average of just over one new friend a year. You have to be either incredibly discerning or incredibly unpopular to fail so magnificently at social networking.

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Chuck Norris for Secretary of Defense

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To be honest, I never really expected to see Chuck Norris in my life. And, if I was going to meet Chuck Norris, I certainly didn't expect that it would happen in New Hampshire at the Londonderry Middle School Cafeteria. But that's where he was on Saturday morning, campaigning for President with his running mate, former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee.

Vacationing with the Candidates

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I had a few days off after Christmas, and so on Saturday I drove to New Hampshire to see both John McCain and Bill Clinton. Boy, do I really know how to have a good time? Next vacation, I'm planning to go to Washington and watch somebody make a law.

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