Here's today's trivia question. How much is a nickel worth? If you
answered five cents, well, you're wrong. The correct answer, as of
today, is eight cents. You see, a nickel consists of 25% nickel and 75%
copper, and the price of both copper and nickel have risen enough so
that the government is losing about three cents on every nickel made.
This, of course, explains much about how government works.
You have to hand it to Paris Hilton. Who else could have found God
after just a week in prison? At least, that's what she told Barbara
Walters on Day 8 of our long national nightmare. In an incredible phone
interview, she told Walters:
It has come to my attention that I may not be quite as well-informed about baseball as I had previously thought. These days, it's not easy following the Red Sox. In addition to baseball, you also need a firm knowledge of medicine, advanced statistics, economics, and possibly Japanese -- not to mention ankle sutures and how much they are expected to bleed. My knowledge of baseball is already a little shaky in some areas, and now I have to know all this other stuff too. Therefore, I would like to take a moment to confess a few things about today's game that I do not know.
