Results tagged “Olympics” from Joe Lavin's Humor Column

Like many Americans, I caught Olympic fever over the weekend. Admittedly, in my case, I already had the fever because of a head cold, and there wasn't much on television except the Olympics. Still, it was exciting, especially the American swimming victory over the French in the 4x100 freestyle relay. Short of defeating Al Qaeda for the gold medal, a come-from-behind victory over France is about the most exciting thing that can happen in the Olympics for Americans.

With the Beijing Olympics about to begin, here are a few pieces from my 2001 trip to Beijing:

Welcome To China
Inside the Forbidden City
Hello, Humor Column
On and Around the Great Wall
Rubber Dinosaurs and Cadavers

And finally, in The Boston Herald, I was just a little skeptical about how The Smog Olympics would turn out.

The Beijing Olympics start four months from today, that is, if the Olympic torch ever actually makes it there. With all the protests about Tibet, that's questionable, but if the Games do get started, they may be the oddest ever. If you don't believe me, just take a look at some headlines from the official web site.

The Beijing Olympics are just a year away, and I couldn't be more excited. These are going to be the best Olympics ever, mainly because of two words: weather rockets. You see, the Chinese government has already promised that there will be no rain for the Opening Ceremonies. Originally, no one knew how they would accomplish this feat, but now thankfully we do. The Chinese government plans to prevent rain storms by launching rockets at rain clouds in an attempt to disperse them, which actually sounds a lot more exciting than any of the other Olympic events.

Today, I would like to discuss the serious issue of biathlon doping. Having watched well over 45 seconds of biathlon action last week, I feel more than qualified to discuss the biathlon. In fact, more than once, I've seen the movie "For Your Eyes Only," in which James Bond manages to escape from an East German biathlete, so I clearly know what I'm talking about here.

The Winter Olympics haven't even started yet, and already I am a little sick of them. When the Games do start on February 10th, they will be almost impossible to avoid. Over all its networks, NBC is planning an astonishing 416 hours of coverage. Spread over seventeen days, that's an average of over 24 hours a day. Finally, during these games, if you get a hankering to watch luge at 3:30 in the morning, then you can probably do so.

Having visited Beijing recently, I was shocked to hear that Beijing's bid to host the 2008 Olympics was accepted last week.

My first thoughts had nothing to do with China's dismal human rights record. I wasn't thinking about the massacre in Tiananmen Square 12 years ago, and I wasn't thinking about China's abuses of Tibet either.

I was thinking of only one thing: pollution.