Results tagged “Basketball” from Joe Lavin's Humor Column

Three Dimensions are Better than Two

aba.jpgFor those basketball fans who don't like the NBA, an exciting new basketball league is here. Make that old league. The American Basketball Association is back. For those who don't watch Will Ferrell movies, the ABA is a league from the 1970s most famous for its red, white, and blue basketball and Dr. J's Afro. The original league eventually merged with the NBA, but now another league with the same name has arrived. Actually, they arrived in 2000, and eight years later they've almost finished the league web site!

Imaginary Athletics

Here's a little peek into my adolescent life. When going through boxes in my parent's house, I discovered a whole set of APBA basketball and football games that I used to play. For the uninitiated, APBA is essentially role-playing games for sports. With dice, player cards, a special board, and a complete lack of girls in my life, the thirteen-year-old me was able to create an imaginary sports world where the 1962 Boston Celtics could meet the 1983 Philadelphia 76ers in a best-of-seven series.

Franchise Naming Conventions

As the NBA thinks up a new nickname for the Oklahoma City (née Seattle) SuperSonics, it's clear that we are long overdue for some rules in naming sports franchises. For example, take a look at this list of names the NBA has recently patented:

Oklahoma City Thunder
Oklahoma City Marshalls
Oklahoma City Energy
Oklahoma City Wind
Oklahoma City Barons
Oklahoma City Bison

Of these, the only one slightly palatable is the Marshalls, because it at least has an Old West feel to it. The others are either dull (Barons), ill-thought out (Let's not go into why the Wind is a bad name.) or simply ridiculous (I can't wait for the Utility Bowl when the Energy meet the Heat!).

Dear Die-hard Celtics Fan

Hi, it's me, Joe. Remember me from the 1980s? Wow, those were good times, weren't they? Bird, McHale, Parish! That was just great. Anyway, I've heard that the Celtics are good again, so I thought I might come back and watch a few games.

Me? Oh, I'm doing fine. Not much is new. I've just been following the Red Sox and Patriots, watching parades, attending rallies, you know, that sort of thing.

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